Tirza thinks her mother-in-law is too strict when babysitting: ‘Not nice’

Once a week, her mother-in-law takes care of Tirza’s sons, who are two and five years old. “That’s nice. I just find her very strict and old-fashioned in her manner. She gets angry when they’re ‘too busy’ or talking about her. If the eldest doesn’t listen to her right away, she doesn’t take it well and raises her voice and says, ‘I’m not happy about this.’ I don’t like it for children. My husband was raised this way and doesn’t see the problem that way. How can I talk to her about this so that this changes?”

He says parenting from in-laws can quickly be taken personally Orthopedist Louis Wanders: “What can help is to recognize your mother-in-law’s feelings at the moment when the situation arises: “I understand very well that this voice means a lot to you. What often helps boys is to name what you would like to have so that it happens. They do it. “For example, you ask them to tell that nice story again, but in a slightly softer way.'”

“Remember that your mother-in-law may have been raised very differently, so there is not so much unwillingness to act but rather shyness. See how she reacts to this. You may find it very interesting and educational.”

It is best to enter into such a difficult conversation from the perspective of the children’s interests, preferably at a neutral moment and without the children present. Wanders: “And again mention what you’d like to see as an alternative. Give her advice, for example, that it’s okay with your kids to sit at eye level with them and make real contact first by asking them a question. Let her do it. Don’t get too excited so you can get in.” In this conversation from a calm perspective. Realize that you can’t change it completely.”

Clear the air

“If you notice that your children are having some frequent reactions, it is a good idea to discuss this in a timely manner. This clears the air and ensures that you sometimes take other, less significant discomforts for granted and accept that they are different from yours.”

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