Column on the golf experience by Aafke Romeijn •

Column on the golf experience by Aafke Romeijn •

Last night I came across an Instagram post about golf from an American woman that I follow for completely different reasons. It was a picture of a skull, with the text: “I’m waiting for my husband to come home when the 9 holes with the boys turn into 36.” And behind it a number of hashtags, including #golfwidow. Below this post, I’ve seen quite a few comments from other women my age complaining that their husbands spend all their free time on the golf course. I clicked on the hashtag #golfwidow, and a whole new world opened up for me.

Everything is available

Apparently, in America there is a whole community of women who “lost” their husbands in golf. They write blogs, have groups on Facebook, and refer to each other in posts. Everything you can think of is in America, so somehow I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I still am. I click on all the funny pictures posted (Father cuts from his kid’s sandbox, T-shirt says “Yeah, he’s playing golf. No, I don’t know when he’s coming home. No, it’s not my imagination”), I laugh out loud at the videos posted by women They depict their frustrated husbands playing golf. Clubs are split in half, insults are directed at me – everything I would like to do myself if things do not go well, except that I have no money to buy new clubs every week.

Why does the term ‘widow golf’ exist but for example ‘widow football’ does not exist?

deadly boring

I am amazed when I find a book on Amazon that is almost half a century old titled: From Loneliness to Intimacy, Helping Widow Golfers. This term seems to have been around since at least the 70’s! I have a lot of questions right away. Because: Why does the term golf widow exist, but for example there is no soccer widow? I remember when I was young, my dad was away at least half a day every Sunday, riding a bike with his cycling club. Is ethnic widow not a relevant term? Cycling also takes a lot of time. Not to mention fishing. I grew up on the banks of the Meuse, which every weekend was populated by hordes of men in camouflage clothing who sat there all day in silence with a cup of coffee. It seems fatal to me, even to the woman in the house.

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Are there really no men who feel lonely because their wives love to play golf?


But what I find most fascinating is that there is no word for widow golf. In other words, it is of course there, but it is not used. It is nothing. Are there really no men who feel lonely because their wives love to play golf? Or is it with golf as with any sport except horseback riding: have women struggled for decades and can now feel happy that they are welcome on the court at all? The truth will undoubtedly lie somewhere in the middle, but it’s fascinating.

I myself would never become a golf widow


I’m not going to become a golf widow myself. I think one of the best aspects of golf is that you can do it together as a family. There are not many sports that apply to this. I’ve tried cycling and running with my husband, but honestly, he goes twice as fast as me. Walking together is also fun, but this does not have a competitive element. Golf is a special sport in this respect. My advice to all self-proclaimed widows of golf: Just go to the course. Who knows, you can even turn it into a hobby!

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