Thursday 22 February 2018 / 07:48 AM


Hello, it’s I, your Ball Don’t Lie™ correspondent! Now, I bring you a weekly recap of all things NFL to get you ready for the next rounds of match-ups. We’ll look at what teams/players you should “buy” or “sell” on the Stock Report, give you some Fantasy advice for you degenerates, and then look at some quick hits in the Extra Point. Let’s get started!

Stock Report


NFC South Flexes It’s Muscles

We told you about the race to watch in the NFL with the Saints and Panthers rolling in the NFC South. But maybe consider the Falcons, who took a real playoff contender in the Cowboys and smacked them around the building. But the Saints walloped Bills on the road, and the Panthers put up record numbers of offense against the Dolphins on Monday Night. Even Tampa Bay won. This division could get interesting.

Vikings Do It on Both Sides

Oh yeah, we all know about that vaunted Vikings defense, and how it has engulfed teams so far this year. But what about Case Keenum and the offense? Seriously, he’s been terrific after such a terrible year for the Rams last year. The offense has missed Dalvin Cook and two different QBs, and he’s just led them past a shootout on the road against the Redskins. Believe!

Jags Get it Done

They heard your criticism. Talk was ablaze about how the Jaguars don’t let Blake Bortles throw ever, but they finally did it. After bottling up Leonard Fournette and the rushing attack, Bortles was forced to throw 51 (!) passes, and the Jaguars STILL got the win. This defense is incredible, and they are winning in spite of that offense sometimes.

Rams Turnaround

We talked about this last week, and they somehow outdid themselves. The offense was my point last week, with how much they put up on teams. Spoiler alert: they did again. But this time, they bottled up the Houston Texans offense after their loss of DeShaun Watons, and smacked them around like you wouldn’t believe. They are the most complete team in the NFL right now, can you believe it?

Pats Roll Through

Let’s all keep ignoring the Patriots soar back to the top. Yeah, the defense still leaves a lot to be desired, but has that stopped this team? They’ve roared in recent weeks, and they just got done going up to Denver and absolutely crushing the Broncos on national TV. The Pats offense is crazy efficient, even with that 40 year old starter.


AFC East

Augh. We’re really going to do this again, aren’t we? The Bills were rolling, Jets were upstarts, and Miami looked promising. This was the year, the dumb people like me said, that the Pats can get challenged in the division. Well let’s check how that’s going: the Jets have dropped four straight, the Bills just got smacked by 37 points at home, and the Dolphins gave up a record offensive night to the Panthers in primetime. Yikes.

Skins Wave White Flag

You could feel it watching the Redskins in that shootout that the hope was just slipping. They had two key interceptions from the defense that got them back in it;, but it was that secondary that put them in the hole to begin with. Kirk Cousins is great, but with nobody around him, this group may have just run out of firepower.

Texans Get Run Out

What a bad week for the Texans. First, they get the news that DeShaun Watson will miss the rest of his rookie campaign. Then, they go back to the thinking that Tom Savage could save the season. They found out quickly that is not the answer, with Savage playing terribly while the Texans were run out of town against the Rams.

Cowboys No-Show

Zeke finally got hit with that suspension, as the collective NFL world laments at him not just taking it and having it out of the way. Beyond that, the Cowboys proved how valuable the running back is, with Dak getting destroyed by the Falcons in Atlanta Sunday. The offensive line was uncharacteristically bad, the receivers were worse, and the offense got nothing in a game they really needed to win.

Seahawks Win… And Don’t

I’m just starting to feel for Seattle. They’ve had so many injuries hit this team, the most recent being to Richard Sherman. That’s even counting just how crappy this defense has been. It took a magician performance from Russell Wilson to steal a win against Arizona, and that’s a viable strategy. But you can just feel that team that looked like a dynasty in the making start to crumble.

Fantasy Outlook

Okay. I’m only going to say this once. JuJu Smith-Schuster is only owned in 58% of fantasy leagues. PICK THIS GUY UP. Juju has become the Steelers favorite option, even getting more targets than Antonio Brown. He’s not a one-hit wonder, this kid is the real deal.

Speaking of not owned enough: Matt Stafford has a high ownership rate, but is only a starter in 60% of leagues. This is one of those weeks to give him a shot, with Stafford getting a favorable matchup against the Bears who may fire their coach this week.

Speaking of favorable matchups (see what I’m doing?), the Bills have been thoroughly embarrassed this week. But the Bills defense is going to rebound this week, I have a feeling. The Chargers can’t throw it like the Saints can, and they’ll bottle that up. Start them.

The Extra Point

Marquise Goodwin’s special night.

CFL celebrations are the best

Sherman’s Promise

Cam Hams it Up

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About the author

Austin Albertson

Austin is CBS' senior NFL and NBA analyst, bringing you commentary on everything between the lines and inside the hashes, from the film room to the scoreboard.

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