“When I think about Christmas last year, I immediately get an uncomfortable feeling. I celebrated Boxing Day with my ex-husband's mother, and it wasn't worth repeating. This year I'm going to approach it completely differently, and it's worth it.” certainly.
I'll go eat with my six-year-old daughter and then lie on the sofa to watch a Christmas movie, and the next day she'll go to her father's. It also does her no good at all to sit there while Grandma chews her mother out. “I won't let that happen again.”
“Last year, my ex-husband Tom and I broke up at the beginning of the summer. This breakup has been a long time coming. In fact, we were never right for each other. I can't sit still for a minute. I love adventure and I want it all.” Tom is very calm and thinks everything is fine for a long time.
At first I liked this nice guy who I never argued with. That was different sometimes in my past relationships. But it gradually started to bother me. I missed receiving a rejection or challenge once. “Everything was quiet between us, and there were no fireworks at all.”
Just not a lot of spice
“We grew apart and had a cliched brother-sister relationship. There was no one to blame, it just happened. And I realized I couldn't change Tom. There's not a lot of soul in it, which is fine. But I also realized I didn't want us to grow up together like that.”
I took the initiative and told Tom I was leaving him. Our divorce was amicable. There was no arguing about the distribution of things and we agreed to eat together as a family once a week, the three of us. We agreed to co-parent our daughter. A break from the book, in short.”
“When the holidays approached last year, we agreed that our daughter would celebrate Christmas Day with me and Boxing Day with Tom and his family. A week before Christmas, Tom asked me if I would also like to come and have dinner with his family. The mother, Tom's brothers and his supporters would be there too .
I wanted to change as little as possible for our daughter, and since I always went with Tom's mother, I didn't see any problem with this. I've always been on good terms with her, so I thought it would be nice. Well, I hadn't heard much from her since I broke up with Tom, but I thought she was getting used to the new situation and took this invitation as a good sign. Stupidly, I assumed that the invitation actually came from her. This was not the case, as soon became clear.”
Christmas Piece and Three Kisses
“Tom opened the door to his parents' house and I entered with my daughter. I wanted to give my ex-mother-in-law the Christmas piece I had brought as a gift and greet her with three kisses as usual, but I was given the opportunity not to.
She muttered something vague and then quickly dashed into the kitchen. “I thought that was weird, but I thought she was too busy cooking.”
“The atmosphere did not improve later at the table. My ex-mother-in-law distributed a gift to everyone, but I was passed over. It slowly became clear to me that she did not count on my arrival at all. Not only that, she noticed that I was not wanted there at all, as I had Bad stitches underwater.
For example, after dinner, she gave Tom a Tupperware container full of leftovers, commenting that it was very sad that he now often had to cook himself and eat alone. I gave him an angry look. “I was amazed by the great passive aggressive energy, and I never knew my mother-in-law that way.”
The bad person
“It was clear that she saw me as the guilty one. Although Tom and I had never had any argument, in her eyes I was the mean woman who had abandoned her poor son. When we had finished our dessert, she said that a movie was being shot. She played. “I watched 'With Family.' She also gave me an ugly look. The message was clear: I didn't belong there anymore, so it was time for me to leave. I hugged my daughter and left. What a lousy birthday.”
“Tom's attitude during dinner was very hurtful to me. He was like a rock. He did not stand up for me even once. He allowed his mother to be so stupid and completely unkind to me, and he kept his mouth shut. I thought so. For me, this was confirmation that we “We're not right for each other and it's a good thing I made this decision.”
“What I also find painful is that my mother-in-law has mercilessly cut me out of her life and her family. I thought we had a good relationship, but it seems it was only because I married her son. I really feel it is because of her. Put it aside.
This year I'm going out to dinner with a friend when my daughter celebrates Christmas with Tom and his family. I won't go with you again. Clearly, Exes and Christmas don't go together.”
For privacy reasons, the names in this article have been changed.
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