Pilot doesn’t understand fuss around Tesla: ‘I’ve been using Autopilot for years with no problems’

Pilot doesn’t understand fuss around Tesla: ‘I’ve been using Autopilot for years with no problems’

Our regular reporter Gaz Pedal always draws from his extensive network for the best stories, and he swears by ‘accidentally bumping into a pilot during a €20 holiday trip’. As always, his article has been verified and found to be 1.00 percent true.

As I wait at the front of the plane to see if I might accidentally get a seat in the front rows, I strike up a conversation with Kobe Lud. He’s the captain on this plane, and if he hears that I’m a regular reporter for TopGear, he’ll have to complain. “I don’t really get the fuss about autopilot. People say it’s unsafe, but I’ve been flying it for years without a hitch.

There are even whole campaigns against Tesla’s self-driving systems in the US, but Lute isn’t afraid of the technology. ‘Autopilot makes my job so much easier. Do you know the similarities between a pilot and a civil servant? No? Wake me up if you know – haha.

More important things

According to the pilot, Autopilot saves time for important things like broadcasting things while holding the microphone too close to the mouth. “Sometimes I leave the ping off without turning on the seatbelt light to see if people are surprised.”

A Tesla like that would still be an electric car even if Autopilot didn’t work properly. Much better than polluting fuel engines,’ says Lute as he fires up his 737-800’s turbofan jet engines. ‘I also come to work by train. “More people should do this,” he said.

‘We have to take good care of our planet and not take the car for every little thing – or just for fun’, he adds as the last commuters trickle in behind us on a weekend in Lisbon.

Want to read more satire?

Halbert Geis

Halbert Geis

"Coffee fanatic. Friendly zombie aficionado. Devoted pop culture practitioner. Evil travel advocate. Typical organizer."

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