Childhood friends Stella and Martin finally become a couple, but not for long | RTL News

Childhood friends Stella and Martin finally become a couple, but not for long | RTL News

Love Lesson

By Hanneke Megnister··an average:

© Annette van den Ende

RTL

Every week we share a candid and honest lesson in love from one of our readers. Because love is only sweeter when you share it. When they were teenagers, Stella, 48, and Martin were best friends. The connection faded, but when Stella and Martin divorced in their 40s, they became a couple after all, only to conclude four years later that they would rather be best friends forever.

“As you get older, there are fewer people around you who know what home was like in the past. Who knew your parents and siblings. Who saw life in your family and sometimes lived entire Sabbaths.

Martin does. He sat with me or I sat with him throughout my teenage years. After final exams, we went to study in another city. We were sure we would stay in touch, but as things went, life happened and we lost track of each other. By the way, he is never far from my mind.”

“Over the years, I would sometimes look for Martin on Facebook and Twitter, but I couldn’t find him anywhere. Especially during my divorce, I sometimes felt the need to talk to him, although it didn’t matter until he said: With Martin it was always safe and unconditional, without being unequal.

“Martin was there for me when my dad died. I was there for him when his parents split up and his mom got a horrible new boyfriend. We talked about everything all the time, and I couldn’t do that with any other guy.”

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Nothing has changed

“In fact, over four years ago, Martin suddenly became the referee at my youngest son’s soccer game. It was as if it had spontaneously snowed in April. He hadn’t changed a bit in those twenty years. I looked straight through the wrinkles and saw the same beautiful boy he had always been in the school hall.”

“Trying to make love work actually drove us further apart.”

“We met on consecutive weekends, as if rushing to make up for lost years. And now it’s love. Hollywood Roughly, how we formulated the friendship of the past and the love of today into one thing. happily ever after.we thought.”

Don’t want to see the cracks

“Because in our excitement we didn’t see the cracks. Or we didn’t want to see them. It turns out that relationship, sharing life, making space for the other is something we can only do in our minds.

In practice, it was about me and him, and suddenly we had to deal with expectations. Arguing, yelling, sleeping in the attic. Trying to make love work actually drove us further apart. It became nose to nose instead of cheek to cheek.”

“I was the first to realize it, and Martin was the first to dare to admit it. He said, ‘This isn’t us. What we do now isn’t ‘Doctor Martell.’ It’s our nickname since high school and it certainly isn’t anymore.”

Old Stella is back

“We’ve been apart now for almost a year as lovers and are back together as friends. It took some tears, and our hearts didn’t get used to the new situation that quickly, but we’re there.

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We recently went to a festival together with a group of friends. Martin whispered in my ear that he had finally seen old Stella again, and how lovely it was. And so it is. Now that we have dared to let go of romantic love, unconditional love has room to flourish again. Our roots are so deep, we shouldn’t choke them with so many fallen leaves.”

“As friends, we were able to let go of expectations and take up space for ourselves. I don’t know exactly why we didn’t want to as lovers, but it really didn’t matter anymore. Because the love is there.

Dearest friends

“We are best friends and I am so happy to have Martin back in my life and me back in his. I am so proud of us for having the courage to take this new path and allow our connection to grow.

Although I think it helps that neither of us has a new love yet. But until then I won’t give up on Martin.”

Wanted: Love Lessons

For the RTL News Lifestyle Love Lessons section, we are looking for beautiful, vulnerable, funny, inspiring and honest love lessons. An insight, a moment of reflection. Preferably with your hand in your lap. In the end, did you turn out to be the one who was afraid of commitment? Should you never have emigrated for love or was the blended family just an illusion after all? Journalist Hanneke Megnester would like to ask you about this. You can say anonymously. Mail to: [email protected].

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